MERIT PAY FOR LEGISLATORS

A system for Merit Pay for Kansas legislators is being debated by a committee of teachers meeting this week in Topeka. “There should be a way to reward the good ones with bonus pay and a way to run out the bad ones,” said Mrs. Brown, a veteran teacher from Elm Heights Elementary. The committee seemed divided on a method of determining the legislators who deserve merit pay.
“It would be easy to measure statehouse excellence,” argues Mr. Jenner, a P.E. teacher at small rural school, “grade them on attendance, proper attire, and number of bills introduced. Highest score gets extra pay.”  “That not a equitable method; some House Members serve on committees that handle a small number of complex bills, while others may crank out many bills naming state buildings after famous Kansas veterans,” replied Mr. Pascal, the committee’s Special Ed representative.
A few members seemed tired from the amount of thought that Merit Pay creation task was requiring and suggested the Governor and the Majority Leader of each chamber could hand out the extra pay as they saw fit. The German instructor, Herr Hogan, felt that this method would be the easiest because those in charge of the Legislature know who is most deserving of the extra pay. “Dedication, innovation, extra effort are nice, but a truly effective politician is one who gets along with superiors. Where we having lunch?”
“Wouldn’t this create more problems?” asked a concerned Sister Lois, “We might have Senators literally and figuratively stabbing each other in the back to get this merit pay. Can we assess them all based on cumulative outcomes for the whole Legislature?”
“That sounds like communism. And I should know, I’m in Social Studies.” said Dr. Camus.
“Don’t you teach Philosophy?”
“I may or I may not be the Philosophy Instructor, “ replied Camus, lighting cigarette as he sat beneath a  No Smoking Sign.
“If we give all the Legislators a pay raise, that would signal that we as teachers value their work, their contribution to the State of Kansas? And we sure wouldn’t want that!”
“Let’s forget this merit pay thing and concentrate on paying them less, taking away job protections, and making it easy to fire them,” said the Chairman, Mr. Walker. “You know, like we always do.”
“All right, meeting adjourned. Where we having lunch?”